It Took a Lot of Digging to Uncover This Part of Me

Hey Mama, I’m Mitch

I'm a girl mama of two, wife to my hunk-o-burnin'-love husband Andrew, and a former "Mom-ster" who knows what it feels like to love your life and still feel like you got lost somewhere along the way.

If you had asked little girl me what my life would look like, it certainly wouldn't have been getting married in my mid-thirties, popping out my first kid at 40, and then having a quick turnaround with kid number two. Yet, that was the story.

And I thought that, after all those years teaching mindset, I'd have this whole family thing down. I was older. I had more maturity. I'd traveled the world helping people learn how to create their lives intentionally instead of living in reaction. Logically, I was certain I knew what it meant to suddenly care for a tiny human 24/7.

Not so much.

Motherhood showed up and slapped my expectations right in the face.

From the outside, my life looked amazing. I had the husband I'd prayed for, the babies I'd waited so long to have, and a growing family. Dreams come true, right?

So why didn't it feel like it?

I loved my husband, but I didn't feel connected to him anymore. I found myself carrying resentment I didn't fully understand. How could he not see how far I was slipping? Why wasn't he stepping up the way I needed him to?

And then there were my girls—the ones I had waited so long for. Why did I lose my temper more than I wanted to admit? Why did I sometimes feel bored playing dolls? Why wasn't I cherishing every moment the way I thought I would?

Anyone who knew me before kids would have described me as laid-back and easygoing. Somewhere along the way, that woman seemed to disappear, and in her place was someone I didn't recognize.

The Mom-ster.

It wasn't one big thing. It was a moment here, a breakdown there. A little more tension in my marriage. A little more frustration with the girls. A little more exhaustion than I knew what to do with. Until one day it all caught up with me.

We were living in a rental while building our house. Andrew and I just seemed to be downgrading our conversations by the day, and I felt like I was stuck in the worst version of Groundhog Day—an endless cycle of cleaning, laundry, diaper changes, stepping on toys, and feeling completely alone.

Cue: The breakdown.

Not just me crying in a closet somewhere. No, no. This one was one of those moments where I took the kids down with me. The total Mom-ster moment that had me absolutely bawling at the end. Why? Because this crazy woman was not me. Or maybe she was, and somehow that felt even worse.

I grabbed my babies and cried with them because I was tired. Tired of surviving. Tired of resentment. Tired of feeling like I was carrying everyone else's needs while slowly losing myself in the process. And sitting there on that floor, I knew one thing: I couldn't keep living like that. Not because I suddenly had a plan. Not because I knew exactly what to do next. But because I knew this wasn't the way it was supposed to stay.

So I started with what I had: me.

I stopped waiting for everyone around me to change and started paying attention to the one person I actually had some control over. My reactions. My habits. The stories I was telling myself. The ways I kept showing up that weren't serving me or the people I loved. One small shift at a time.

And then I did something I should have done a lot sooner.

I opened my Bible and asked God to show me what He wanted for me as a wife, a mother, a woman, and His child. Turns out, that was a loaded question. Because He didn't hand me a quick fix. He started refining me. Sharpening me. Showing me places where I needed to grow and places where I needed to let go.

Little by little, I started feeling like myself again. Not the carefree girl I used to be—and honestly, that's okay. There are things I miss about her sometimes. But there are things I love about the woman I've become too. The woman who has weathered some storms. The woman who knows God more deeply. The woman who understands herself better than she used to. The woman who can look at a hard season and know she'll make it through.

Life still gets full. Marriage still has moments. Motherhood still stretches me in ways I don't expect. But those things don't undo me anymore. I've found my footing, and I've learned that I don't have to be everything for everyone to be a really good wife, mom, friend, or coach.

And if you're reading this thinking, "Yep. That's me. I know exactly what she's talking about," I want you to know you're not alone. I've been there. There is a way through it. Not a perfect one. Not a fast one. But a real one.

And I'd be honored to walk it with you. 🤍